Of Trickery, Torture, and Triumph
by Forever the Optimist
Summary: In AVPSY, Ron describes the gang's disastrous 5th year. When Umbridge becomes Minister of Magic and appoints the Carrow twins as Defense Against the Dark Arts teachers, things start getting hairy. I didn't intend this to be a Dramione story, but that's kind of how it's turning out, so fair warning. Rated T for potential violence only. Very much based on Starkid's version of events.
1. Goodbye to Umbridge!

"_Hem hem."_

All across the great hall, young witches and wizards laughed, ate and chatted, completely ignoring Headmaster Umbridge. It was just another typical day.

"_Hem _hem_." _

Harry, Ron, and Hermione smirked at each other. They knew full well that Umbridge had about as much chance of getting their attention and Hermione did of getting an A-. That is, absolutely none. They went on happily discussing Gryffindor's latest Quidditch victory. Until Professor McGonagall stood up.

"Students, your Headmistress is trying to speak to you. As I know you all will find it… enthralling, please give her your attention." Groans from the students, but eventually there was silence.

"Thank you, Professor McGonagall," said Umbridge in her sweetest voice. "Now students, I have a very important announcement. As some of you may have heard, Cornelius Fudge has recently been feeling the stress of being Minister of Magic, and has decided to retire. As sad as I am to be leaving Hogwarts, I am delighted to announce that I have been made the new Minister of Magic."

Whispers broke out across the Great Hall. _Leaving Hogwarts? Umbridge Minister of Magic? Wait…UMBRIDGE LEAVING HOGWARTS? FOR GOOD? _All at once, every student in the room leapt to their feet, cheering at the top of their lungs. Umbridge looked a little taken aback; it was clear she had never gotten such a warm reaction to one of her speeches, and she took a few moments to savor it. Then she cleared her throat.

"_Hem hem._ Thank you, students. I'm glad you're so happy for me. However, as I'm sure you can understand, there will need to be a few changes here. First of all, we will need a new Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher. I am delighted to announce that I have found the perfect candidates. May I introduce Alecto and Amycus Carrow, who will be jointly teaching you all this year. I hope you will give them a warm welcome!" She flung her short, stubby arm towards the back of the room, beaming all the while. The doors opened and through them came the Carrows.

A few of the teachers clapped, but not for very long. Most of the students simply stared as the pair walked up to the staff table. They were obviously twins, though Amycus was taller. They didn't smile or acknowledge the meager applause, choosing to instead to leer at any students unfortunate enough to catch their eyes. When they at last reached the front of the room and took their places, Umbridge stood up and coughed again.

"_Hem hem. _Thank you students. You are dismissed."

Harry, Ron, and Hermione stood up and joined the tide of Gryffindors returning to the North Tower. Once they reached the common room, Ron said the password (Butterfly kisses), and the trio clambered through the portrait hole. Plopping down in their favorite armchairs by the fire, Ron turned to Harry and said, "Well? What do you reckon?"

"Well," said Harry. "They do look as though they know rather a lot about the Dark Arts."

Hermione looked up from searching for her Ancient Runes books and said, "They do, at that. Maybe they'll last a little longer than some of the others? Goodness knows, anything would be an improvement over Umbridge. I'm sure we'll at least be able to do magic."

"Yes, I'm sure," said Ron darkly, "but what if it's not the kind of magic we want to learn?"


	2. Alecto and Amycus

**Author's Note: Hiya, people! Forever the Optimist here. My apologies about my first chapter. I know it was really short, but I was leaving last weekend, and I wanted to get something up before I left. Also, there was no author's note, because I wasn't smart enough to figure out that you add it as part of the chapter. Yeah. Anyhow... This story is kind of a combo of Starkid and J.K. Rowling's books. In this, as in A Very Potter Senior Year, Dumbledore has passed on (!). As I said in the description, this is based off a chunk of one of Ron's monologues in AVPSY. So, we'll see where all of this goes. If you've got anything to say, anything at all, PLEASE review. I want to hear everything! **

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Harry leaned into the wind, urging his Firebolt to go faster, faster. He reached forward, groping for the Snitch he knew must be there. He almost had it… Suddenly, Harry felt a tug on the back of his broomstick. He looked back and saw Umbridge tightly gripping the tail end of his broom in both meaty little hands. She gave a too-sweet smile and said, "Come now, Potter, don't try to run. You know you can't escape me forever…" The wind began to howl in Harry's ears as Umbridge began to laugh. Her mouth began to swell until it seemed as though she would swallow him whole…

"Harry! Harry, mate, wake up! You're dreaming again! Harry!"

Harry opened his eyes and saw Ron leaning over him, getting ready to shake his shoulder. Harry vaguely realized that Ron had been trying to wake him for some time. Over Ron's shoulder, he could see Neville's pale face reflecting the moonlight.

"Wha… what's ha-ha-happening over there?" yawned Seamus.

"Nothing, Seamus," called Ron. "Go back to sleep."

A snore was the only answer he got. Ron sighed. "You going to be alright, mate?"

"Yeah," said Harry. "Yeah, you go back to bed. I'll be fine…" Ron nodded and crawled back into his fourposter. Harry, however, did not go back to sleep. He lay awake, staring at the ceiling, thinking. His dream was probably correct. Umbridge becoming Minister of Magic couldn't be much better than Headmistress. Doubtless she would only use her newfound power to wreak even more havoc in his life. And these Carrows couldn't be good news. Harry lay there until rays of light began to light up the room.

* * *

Harry, Ron, and Hermione waited outside the Defense Against the Dark Arts room with the rest of the Gryffindors. Classes were supposed to have started several minutes ago, and their new teachers were nowhere in sight. Hermione was alternating between checking her schedule and peering anxiously down the corridors. "Oh, I do hope nothing happened to them! What if they never show up?"

"So what if the don't?" asked Ron, who was setting up for a game of Exploding Snap with Dean. "We just don't get a lesson today. Big deal. Besides, that means less homework for us."

"Yes, exactly!" cried Hermione. "This is our OWL year! What will we do with no Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher? This is the most important year of our wizarding careers! They could be lost, or sick, or-"

"Oh, give it a rest, Hermione," sighed Harry exasperatedly. "If they show, they show. If they don't, they don't. That's all there is to it."

"Right!" chimed in Dean. "The longer we put off meeting these two, the better, I say. They didn't look like-"

Hermione looked over in disgust as Ron beat at the edges of his robe, which had just caught fire. Dean was gingerly feeling his newly singed eyebrows. Ron hurriedly swept up the remains of his cards and tucked them into his robe. Just then, a voice from the back of the crowd cried out, "Everyone! Here they come!"

Quickly, the Gryffindors formed two straight lines, one on each side of the door. They stood in silence as their two new teachers turned the corner and saw their students in formation. Alecto smirked at her brother and swept through the lines to the door. Her brother strode after her. Alecto opened the door and walked in. Then she abruptly turned around and leered, "Well? Do you want to learn or what?" The students quickly filed in and took their places. The siblings sneered at each other and followed them in.

Amycus stood at the lectern, while Alecto stood in the back. He cleared his throat and began. "Students. My sister and I are here to instruct you in defending yourselves against the Dark Arts. We believe that the best way to protect yourselves from them is to fully understand them. Now, I am aware that you have had some instruction in the Unforgiveable Curses. We have decided to begin today with teaching you the method behind these curses, and, eventually, how to use them."

Murmurs broke out among the students. Hermione's hand shot up. Amycus peered down at her.

"Yes, Miss..."

"Granger, sir, and did you say _using_ the Unforgivable Curses? Are you aware that those three spells have been illegal for longer than we have been alive? Does the Ministry know about this?"

"Quiet, you," snapped Alecto. "We know our business, and it's not for you to question what we do. We teach, you learn, and that's all there is to it. Understand?"

Harry and Ron exchanged looks. Hermione nodded slowly. Amycus smiled coldly at her. "Miss Granger, the Ministry feels that desperate plights call for desperate measures, as they say. One never knows what could be waiting out there to prey on students like yourselves. Should you ever find yourselves in a position where you should need to defend yourselves, we would like you to be prepared. Any more foolish questions?"

The class was silent.

"Good. Then take out your quills and copy this down." Amycus tapped his thin, black wand on the blackboard and the heading 'Unforgivable Curses: A Practical Approach' appeared on the board. There was a flurry of motion as the students hurried to find quills and parchment. They spent the rest of the hour copying down notes. When the bell finally rang, Amycus called out, "Homework-a history of the use of any one of the curses since 1200 A.D. 2 rolls of parchment, no exceptions!" As the students left the room, Alecto could be distinctly heard to mutter "Brats."

* * *

Harry, Ron, and Hermione went down to the Great Hall for lunch, talking all the way.

"I still can't believe we're learning the Unforgivable Curses! said Hermione breathlessly. "It's almost as though they want us to be Death Eaters. Thank goodness there's the DA, so we learn REAL Defense Against the Dark Arts!"

"Yeah," said Ron. "This is supposed to be 'Defense Against the Dark Arts', not 'The Dark Arts!' Wait a sec..." Ron's face twisted in concentration. "What if they do want us to be Death Eaters? This would be the perfect plan! If You-Know-Who has infiltrated the Ministry, why not put someone he can control in the head spot and appoint some of his cronies to train us for his army? The perfect plan!"

Hermione looked highly skeptical, but Harry said slowly, "You know, I wouldn't be at all surprised if that were true." Hermione stared at him.

"No, wait, hear me out. We know that Cornelius Fudge loves being in power, right?" The two nodded ruefully. "So it's not like him to just retire! That's not his style. Remember when Dumbledore tried to tell him that Voldemort was back? He flat-out denied it! Refused to believe it! So why now?"

Hermione nodded thoughtfully. "You know, something does seem a little strange about that."

Ron was excited now. "Exactly! What if You-Know Who _forced_ him to resign? It all adds up!"

Hermione was beginning to be convinced. "If you two are right..."

Harry looked back and forth between the two faces, one flushed, one doubtful. "Then the DA is more important than ever."

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**Ok, I know that I probably totally destroyed both Amycus and Alecto, I don't really remember a whole lot about them or their characters. So if you see something you think I should change, PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE let me know! I want to make this as realistic as possible. Thanks a heap! Also, I may be introducing Ginny in the next chapter, and I haven't yet decided if I want her and Harry to be dating yet or not. Any suggestions? I know in the books they aren't but in Starkid's musicals I think they are...it isn't really official until AVPSY. So I will leave it up to you fabulous people. Feel free to review or PM me. Whoo hoo!**


	3. The DA's Decision

**A.N: Hello everyone! Sorry it's taken me so long to post another chapter, but AP testing is coming up, so I haven't had a ton of time. Nothing like a little stress to squash the creative juices. Oh well. So. My dear friend Quiet Defiance has informed me that a) Ginny and Harry are dating now, and b) Fudge should be dead (if we're going by Starkid storylines). For Harry and Ginny, read on. As for Fudge...too bad. I am mixing versions here, which I am completely within my rights to do. I have also been told that I am abusing abbreviations, so I'll try to stop doing that. Sorry. Also, I have been asked for a physical description of the Carrows. I don't remember what they look like, to be perfectly frank, so if someone else remembers, please help me out! Anyhow, thanks for reading as far as you have, and all the reviews I've gotten- I really appreciate the support and I love to hear from y'all. 69 views, which makes me ridiculously happy.**

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Harry waited in the Room of Requirement for the other members of Dumbledore's Army to arrive. He had purposely gotten there early so to have time to think and clear his head before getting thrown back into the chaos of teaching twenty-some enthusiastic students. He wasn't sure what to expect as to their reactions to the Carrows- what if they thought his theories were laughable? 'Well, worry about that when it comes,' Harry thought philosophically. He was just about to get up and set out some cushions for the group to sit on when the door opened.

"Harry?"

His heart did a little jump. It was Ginny.

"What are you doing here so early? We don't start for another ten minutes yet."

She grinned. "I could ask you the same thing." She slipped in and closed the door, then leaned back on it, watching Harry form across the room. "I was hoping to find you here. I've been looking for you all over. Have you been avoiding me?" she teased. Harry grinned back at her. "I've just been a little busy recently, what with Quidditch and school and whatnot..." Harry trailed off. Ginny seemed to be hiding a smile. "What?" he demanded. She laughed and walked over to sit beside him. "Nothing. It's just good to see you, is all." Harry peered at her for a moment, still a little unsure. He felt like he was missing something.

The door opened again, this time revealing Ron and Hermione.

"Hi, Harry," they said. Then Ron turned to his sister. "Happy birthday, sis. Here." He thrust a small package into her lap. Hermione added her congratulations and a gift. Harry blushed. So _that _was what he had forgotten-his girlfriend's birthday. The rest of the D.A. arrived in ones and twos, each one bringing Ginny a gift or card. Even Luna, who was usually off in her own world, brought Ginny a hand-drawn 'Guide to the Lesser-known Creatures of the Magical World,' featuring creatures like the Crumple-Horned Snorkack and the Blibbering Humdinger. Harry, it seemed, was the only one who had forgotten. And that fact was not lost on Ginny.

"Did you have something to say?" she asked, her face too innocent. Harry grinned sheepishly. "Happy birthday, Ginny." He pulled her to her feet and kissed her right there, ignoring the whistles from the rest of the kids. When they finally separated, Ginny beamed up at him, her cheeks only a little red.

"Nice try. I know you forgot. And you still better get me a gift."

Harry smiled at her, knowing he was forgiven. "Of course. First chance I get."

From the other side of the room, a voice that sounded suspiciously like one of the Weasley twins, called "So, are we gonna start or what?"

Harry looked across the room at the twins, who were sporting identical evil grins. "Of course. So, as you probably know, we have new Defense Against the Dark Arts teachers. I don't know about the rest of you, but neither are my favorite teacher ever." He waited for the mutters and cries of "Hear, hear!" to die down, then continued. "Have they been teaching you all the Unforgivable Curses too?" General assent. "So then you know what I mean. Yes, Cho?" She had just raised her hand.

"Well," she said in her classic Southern drawl, "When I was in their class yesterday, I went up to ask Professor Carrow-the guy- a question, and I swear he was looking down my shirt. _And _he patted my behind when I walked away." She lowered her hand slowly. Lavender hugged her and squealed "Poor thing!"

"That's ruddy awful. They can't do that to her!" yelled Seamus.

"Too right, they can't!" Said Harry forcefully. "So what are we going to do about it?"

"There's not a whole lot we can do, is there?" asked Ginny.

Luna looked up excitedly. "We could call an army of Sangerines! They're big creatures made completely of blubber that..." Luna babbled on as the rest of the group shouted other suggestions.

"Get them arrested for harassing our Cho!" called Lavender, hugging a tearful Cho.

"Tell McGonagall what horrible things they're teaching us!" Dean yelled.

"Poison," suggested Ron grimly. Harry raised his hands for silence.

"Ok everyone. What I had in mind was learning spells to repel them-spells to direct their attention away from you or make them stop touching you. Basic things that are subtle enough to keep them away from all of us until we come up with a better plan. Sound good?" Everyone agreed, some more readily than others.

"I dunno," said Seamus slowly. "It just seems so cowardly, you know? Like we're just lying down and taking it. We need to DO something!"

"We will," said Harry. "Just not yet. Consider it biding our time. Any other concerns?"

The room was silent.

"Great. So if you'll divide up into pairs, Hermione found this charm that will give anyone who touches you a nasty shock that feels exactly like a static shock..."

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**Thanks again for reading! Please review!**


	4. Did Somebody Say

**A.N: Hey everyone! Nice to see you're still reading. Sorry it's been so long, but I really wasn't sure where to go from my last chapter, and I finally settled on this! Here you go! Please review, we all know how much I love hearing you all!**

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"Well," said Harry, flopping down on one of the chairs in the Room of Requirement. "I think that went well."

Hermione nodded tiredly. "Yes, they really seemed to be paying attention. I just hope it's enough."

Ginny nodded as well, then sat down next to Harry. He kissed her head. "Happy birthday, Ginny," he murmured into her hair. She smiled, then yawned. Ron yawned , then Harry. Hermione clapped a hand over her mouth, knowing she was next. Harry and Ron exchanged glances, then burst out laughing. The girls weren't far behind.

After a few moments, Hermione, smiling, said, "Perhaps we should be getting to bed?"

Ron grinned, then yawned again. "Ma...maybe you're right." He grabbed her hand and the two wandered out. Harry and Ginny watched them go, smiling fondly.

"It's so nice that they finally officially got together," she said. "We both knew they liked each other, and they knew they liked each other, but neither wanted to admit it."

"Well, of course," said Harry teasingly. "You never tell a girl you like her because it makes you look like an idiot. Right?"

Ginny beamed. "Right, but you're my idiot." He smiled and kissed her cheek, then stood up, pulling her after him. "We really should be going back to Gryffindor tower," he said reluctantly.

She sighed and followed him out.

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The next morning, Harry sat at the Gryffindor table, rubbing the sleep out of his eyes. All the members of the D.A. were paying the price for their late night. Looking down the table, Harry stifled a laugh. Neville was face-down in his eggs, snoring. Fred and George were trying to see how many pancakes they could stack on top of his head without him waking up. As he watched, the pile teetered and fell, strewing pancakes everywhere. Neville didn't move. Laughing, Harry returned to his breakfast. Ron and Hermione were bickering again, but Harry had learned to tune it out. Ginny sat across the table, and the pair exchanged smiles every so often. Up at the staff table, their new professors were arguing with Professor McGonagall. They were getting more and more angry by the second. McGonagall looked supremely disdainful. Harry nudged Hermione.

"Well, if you would just _listen, _I-what, Harry?"

He pointed up to the staff table. Hermione and Ron watched for a moment, then Hermione said, "I'd love to know what their fighting about. Do you think someone tipped McGonagall off that we were learning illegal spells?"

Harry shrugged. "I don't imagine that she could do anything about it even if she did know. After all, 'they know their business, and it's nor for us to question what they do,'" he said mockingly. Ron laughed. Ginny punched him lightly on the shoulder, but she was hiding a smile as well. Hermione shook her head.

"It almost looks like they're...winning," Hermione said slowly. Sure enough, as the group watched, McGonagall bowed her head, tight-lipped, and gestured towards the podium. Smirking at each other, the pair walked up to it. Alecto used his wand to magnify his voice, then bellowed at the students.

"Ok everyone, listen up! My sister and I have permission to begin a dueling club here, where we will be focusing on the practical application of your new curriculum. This is not optional. Everyone will report to the Great Hall tomorrow for our first meeting, directly after classes are finished. Any questions?"

The students had learned by now that it was wiser not to say anything.

"Good. You all may be dismissed."

As everyone stood up to go, Harry, Ron, Hermione, and Ginny all exchanged glances. Everyone was wondering what the next day would bring, and they were no different.

"Practical application..." wondered Ginny aloud as they began to leave. "He surely can't mean using the Curses in _duels,_ can he?"

"I wouldn't be at all surprised," muttered Ron. "They are horrible people, just horrible."

"Did somebody say Draco Malfoy?"

They all began to curse quietly but steadily. Hermione moaned. Harry slowly turned around. "What, Malfoy?"

"Well," he said, looking a little too innocent. "No need to act so happy to see me. I just wanted to know what you thought or of our new teachers." He addressed this to everyone, but looked only at Hermione, which did not go unnoticed.

"Listen, Malfoy," she sighed, "None of us cares what you think." Ginny opened her mouth as though to disagree, but a glare from Ron silenced her. Hermione continued, "We would just like to go get ready for class, so if you have something to say, spit it out already."

Malfoy stepped back with an air of wounded dignity. "Well, Miss Granger, I'll just be going then. But remember, I know this isn't the easiest thing for you. So if you ever need someone to talk to..."

Ron grabbed Hermione and pulled her back to him. His ears were bright red. "Listen up, Malfoy. She's my girlfriend, and you can't have her. So bugger off." With that, Ron shoved past Malfoy, pushing him into the wall. Harry, Hermione, and Ginny followed. Ginny shot an apologetic glance his way, but he was too busy checking for injuries to notice. Harry reached back and took Ginny's hand. She squeezed it, looking with concern at her older brother. She and Harry fell back, and Ginny looked up at Harry.

"Do you think he's getting a bit...possessive?" Harry frowned.

"If it were anyone else, I would say yes, but this is Malfoy. He's been a jerk since the first day we met. Remember? I'm sure I told you about that."

Ginny nodded slowly. "Yes...you told me he asked to be your friend."

Harry shook his head in disgust. "He told me that he was racist, despised Muggleborns and gingers, hated Gryffindor House, and that his parents work for the man who killed my parents. And you're trying to tell me that he's not a jerk?"

She pursed her lips. "Well, I'm not saying he's the nicest person ever, but I don't think he's as bad as you make him out to be. At least he didn't try to hide anything from you."

Harry stopped and stared at her in disbelief. She stared back at him defiantly. "Are you honestly defending him?"

Ginny looked uncomfortable, but refused to back down. "So what if I am?"

The two stared at each other for a while. Finally, Ginny said, "Forget it. I'm going to bed." She strode off down the corridor, leaving a stunned Harry behind her.

* * *

"And so then," Harry said to Ron and Hermione in the Gryffindor common room several minutes later, "she just walks off! What's up with that?" Ron shook his head.

"I dunno. I just can't believe she would defend such an idiot," said Ron, shaking his head. Hermione was sitting with a textbook on her lap, to no one's surprise. Ron was eating Chocolate Frogs. The two had had very different reactions to Harry's tale. Ron had been very much on Harry's side, but Hermione...

"Well, I do think you may have been a bit unfair, Harry. He has gotten really nice now, you know. He's not a bad person, just...unpleasant."

This time, it was Ron's turn to stare in disbelief. "Really? You too?" He turned to Harry in disgust. "You know what, Harry, I understand you better and better everyday." He slung an arm around Harry's shoulder, glaring at Hermione. "Come on, buddy. Let's get out of here." The two turned and walked up the spiral staircase to their dormitories, leaving a bemused Hermione behind.

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**Did'ja find the Starkid references? Tee hee. I had a lot of fun writing this, actually, considering how long it took me to write it. Also, watch out because I may be wrecking some ships soon. Just fair warning. Lots of love!**


	5. Umbridge's New Order

**A.N: Hey everybody! Still here? Great. Sorry for the delay, I recently started a new story, and that's been taking up some time. Also, you may have noticed that I changed the category to Harry Potter. I decided that this really had very little to do with Starkid, so I better just put it where it belongs. So yeah! Read, review, etc, etc, etc. Thanks a bunch! **

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Breakfast the next morning was a subdued affair. Harry and Ron were studiously ignoring Hermione and Ginny, and the girls followed suit. All of their friends could tell something had happened, but no one wanted to interfere. The friends had never fought so much, and they had never had such a strong division-the ultimate battle of the sexes. Even when the post arrived and one of the owls dropped Hermione's copy of the Daily Prophet in Ron's lap, he merely picked it up by the corner, touching as little of it as he could, and handed it across the table. Hermione took it just as gingerly. Neither looked the other one in the face. Harry looked up, ready to share one of the exasperated looks he often shared with Ginny and saw her buried in the newspaper with Hermione, something she never did. He was about to brush aside the edge to see her face when he remembered-they weren't speaking anymore. Harry reached for the salt to excuse his motion, dumping far too much on his eggs. He shoved away his plate. Suddenly, Hermione gasped. Instantly, Harry and Ron looked at her, worried. Ginny hid a smirk.

"Wha..." Ron started to ask, then bit his lip and went back to his sausages. Hermione glanced up at him, then quickly looked away. This time, Harry and Ginny did share a glance across the table, and he grinned nervously at her. She gave him a small smile in return.

"What is it, Hermione?" Ginny asked. Hermione held up a hand, silently asking her to wait. She had been reading the main article, and the farther down she got, the more worried she looked. When she finally looked up, she had the full attention of all three of her friends, their differences forgotten. She looked up and down the aisle, checking for listeners, then said quietly, "She knows."

The friends stared at her. "Who knows?" "Knows what?" Hermione took a shaky breath, her eyes glazing over in thought. "Umbridge...she's doing... and if she...so much trouble...we have to do something."

Harry and Ron looked at each other and sighed. "Well," said Ron, rolling his eyes, "That clears that up. It would have been really annoying if you hadn't explained yourself properly."

Hermione looked up, her eyes coming sharply back into focus. "Umbridge just announced that her first move as Minister will be to conduct investigations into the activities of all the students at Hogwarts, to 'get a full idea of the potential and involvement of the next generation of wizards,'" she read. She looked directly at Harry. "She knows about the D.A. There's no other reason for it. She must have found out somehow and thinks we're some kind of threat..."

Ginny nodded slowly. "And if she knows we're rebelling against her teaching methods..."

Ron shook his head. "We are in _so _much trouble."

* * *

After classes ended for the day, all the students trooped down to the Great Hall for their first dueling lesson. The atmosphere was tense, but excited. Everyone was nervous to see what they would actually have to do. Hermione, Ginny, Ron, and Harry, now forgiven, were clumped near the stage that had been set up across the Hall.

"You don't think they'd _actually_ make us curse each other, do you?" Ginny asked anxiously. As they day went on, she had gotten more and more upset.

Ron patted her on the back. "Well, they can't force us to, can they? Besides, they wouldn't make us use the Killing Curse-McGonagall would put a stop to it," he said confidently.

Hermione looked at him sharply. "But McGonagall already tried to stop it, remember? And if they're teaching us the Unforgivable Curses, a little torture probably doesn't seem so bad..." She trailed off at the look on Ginny's face. She seemed ready to burst into tears. Harry put a protective arm around her and she buried her face in his shoulder. Hermione cautiously patted her on the back. Harry glared at her and mouthed "Thanks, Hermione!" She pulled her hand back quickly.

"But really, though," continued Ron as though nothing had happened. "What kind of idiot teaches children who are 'potential threats,' or whatever Umbridge thinks, who teaches them the most dangerous spells known to man? Really?"

Hermione smirked. "Well, they're clearly not too bright. We knew that from the start."

"Well, _I _for one think it's a brilliant idea," said none other than Draco Malfoy. "In a world like we've got, we have to know how to protect ourselves, don't we?" He casually laid an arm across Hermione's shoulders. Ron bristled and opened his mouth to say something, but Harry got there first.

"Listen, Malfoy, if you want to take whatever crap they give you, go ahead. But it isn't right, no matter what you say. So shove off, alright?"

Malfoy quickly stepped back, hands in the air. "Very well, Potter. But when the Ministry locks you up for insubordination, don't expect me to visit you in Azkaban." He started to walk away, smirking, but Ron grabbed his shoulders and spun him around. Harry tensed, ready to intervene, but Ron merely tweaked Malfoy's nose, 'ate' it, then retrieved it from...the proper place for such things, and put it back on Malfoy's face. "You, sir, have a poop nose now," he said, pointing straight at the horrified Malfoy. Malfoy frantically rubbed his nose. "Not again! Weasly, you wait 'til my father hears of this!" he cried, then ran away. Ron raised his arms in victory. He turned to high-five Harry but found Hermione in his way, disgusted.

"That was really immature, Ron. It was funny when we were twelve, but not anymore. Grow up, why don't you?" She grabbed Ginny's hand and the two raced off through the crowd after Malfoy. Ron stared at Harry, furious. "Grow up, she says, huh? Alright, then," he said, "I'll grow up. I'll show her. And she's gonna look like such and idiot. I don't know how yet, but-"

"Attention, please! Students, settle down! We need to begin," called Professor Amycus. Ron smiled slowly. "Such an idiot."

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**Again, thanks for reading!**


	6. He Showed Her

**A.N: Hey all! To our new readers, welcome! To our old hands, welcome back! Sorry for leaving you on a bit of a cliffhanger last chapter, but I wanted to save the battle for the next one. Hope you like it! As always, please review!**

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"Students! Your attention, _please!"_

Gradually, conversations stopped and everyone turned towards the stage. Ron was still staring in the direction Hermione and Malfoy had gone, a hungry look in his eyes.

"Alright, students. I will need a volunteer pair from the audience. Will anyone pl-"

A hand shot straight up in the air. For once, it wasn't Hermione's.

"Very good, Mr..."

"Weasley, sir," said Ron, hand still in the air.

Amycus nodded. "Excellent. Mr. Weasley, come here please." Ron started to shove his way through the crowd, but Harry grabbed his shoulder and spun him around. "Ron," he whispered urgently. "Do you really think this is a good idea? You can't hex Malfoy right there-that's not what Hermione's going to want to see. Just back off and let her cool down."

Ron shook his head and wrenched out of Harry's grasp. He strode to the stage, never once looking back. Alecto helped him up the stairs with a grin, putting a thick chain across them to prevent him from leaving. Harry's uneasiness grew.

"Now, Mr. Weasley, you're going to need a partner. Any volunteers?"

No one moved.

"Well, then, I guess you'll just have to pick someone. Go ahead," said Amycus, gesturing out across the silent crowd. He now wore a grin identical to his sister's, and neither were very warm or friendly. Ron's grin matched theirs, which had Harry really worried. Redheads. No telling what they would do.

"If it's alright, I'd like to duel Draco Malfoy, sir." said Ron, who had found the unfortunate Draco in the crowd and was staring right at him. Harry shoved his way through the crowd until he could see Malfoy's face. He was pale, and looked torn, as though he didn't _want_ to duel.

"Come on, then, Mr. Malfoy. Or are you too _scared_ to come up?" jeered Alecto. Harry saw Draco wince. Harry was sure that Draco was thinking of what his father would say if he heard of his son refusing to duel a member of the hated Weasley family. Harry saw him stiffen up and nod once, sharply. "I'll do it!" he cried. Harry sighed. Who knew how this would turn out?

"Excellent," hissed Alecto, rubbing her hands together. "Get up here, and let's start this thing!"

No one moved as Malfoy walked slowly to the stage. Just as with Ron, Alecto put a heavy chain across the stairs. Harry could see Malfoy glance back and gulp, but he strode to the center of the stage where Ron waited. Amycus walked over and placed a hand on each boy's shoulder with what was surely meant to be a welcoming smile, but looked to Harry more like a sneer.

"Alright, you two, shake hands." The boys did. Harry could see that Ron was gripping Malfoy's hand much harder than was necessary. Malfoy bore it stoically.

"Now take five steps back,...and...begin!" cried Amycus, stepping out of the way. Ron whipped his wand above his head and yelled, "This is what happens when you try to steal people's girlfriends! _Imperio!"_

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_Draco's mind was spinning. All his cares fell away: his anger, his fear, everything. He was floating in white fog, with nothing at all to trouble him. Then came a voice from somewhere deep in the back of his mind: _Draco, _it said quietly. _Draco. Get up. _He vaguely realized that he was lying on the ground, and quickly clambered to his feet, tripping over the bottom of his robes in the process. He smiled happily-it was so nice not to have to worry about anything..._Draco, _came the voice again. _See that girl? _A face popped into his mind-a beautiful girl with long, curly brown hair. 'Hermione,' he thought, and smiled again. _Walk up to her._ 'Well, alright,' he thought. 'If you insist.' He walked towards the face, unaware that he had stumbled off the stage and landed spread-eagled on the floor. He clambered to his feet and stumbled on, no thought in his mind but to get to that face. He walked right up to her._

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Hermione watched in horror as Ron pointed his wand straight at her, grinning wolfishly. She stared as Draco fell off the stage at her feet and stood before her, swaying slightly and smiling like an idiot. "Ron," she said slowly, "what are you..." As she watched, his smile disappeared, replaced with a look of confusion. His hands curled into fists, and he brought one back as though to punch her, but the other came up to slap the first away. Hermione backed away slowly and Draco sank to the floor, still at war with himself. She glanced up at the stage to see Ron with an intense look of concentration on his face. When he saw her watching, he grinned and winked at her. That small bit of distraction was enough. Malfoy surged to his feet and shook his head to clear it. He then plunged his hand into his robes and pulled out his own wand. He pointed it straight at Ron and cried, "_Crucio_!"

Hermione screamed as Ron fell to the floor, writhing. Draco watched him suffer for a few moments before ending the spell. He turned to Hermione, breathing hard. "I couldn't do it," he said quietly. "He wanted me to hit you, but I just couldn't."

Hermione reached out to pat his shoulder, but he had already turned and ran. Hermione cried, "Draco, wait!" But her cries fell on deaf ears. She slowly realized that everyone was staring at her, and she flushed beet red. She grabbed Ginny's arm and ran from the room.

Ron jumped off the stage and strode over to Harry, a triumphant grin on his face. He watched Hermione run from the hall and thumped Harry on the back. "I showed her," he said. "I showed her so good." Harry stared at him for a moment, then shook his head and put an arm around Ron's shoulders.

"I dunno, man," he said, "but I don't think that's the best way to get back a girl. See, girls don't like it when you make someone hit them. It just makes you look bad, see. We've been over this. Remember? The Yule Ball?" Ron's smile slipped off his face and crashed to the floor. He stared at his feet, then looked up at Harry in desperation. "So what do I do?" he asked. "Now what?"

"Well," said Harry slowly, "you should probably start by apologizing to her, you think?" Ron nodded. Harry lead his friend out of the Hall, ignoring the looks the other students shot their way. "Then you should do something nice for her. And," Harry sucked in his breath, "you should be nice to Malfoy."

Ron stared at him in anguish. "Really?" he said quietly. Harry nodded slowly. "Yeah. I know. It won't be easy, but we really ought to try."

"Why?" asked Ron petulantly. "He's a little butt. Nobody even likes him. Why should _I_ be nice to him? Or you? You're the coolest kid in the whole world! Everybody likes you, so why should he matter to you?"

Harry sighed. "Ron, you have to understand. When you like someone, it doesn't matter what you want. It only matters what _she _wants. _That's_ what has to be important to you. If Hermione is nice to Malfoy, you be nice to him too. _That's_ how you get a girl. That's why Ginny and I are still together. Because what she wants matters to me."

Ron took a deep breath, then nodded. "Ok, I'll try. But no promises."

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**Thanks for reading! This chapter has a lot of references to A Very Potter Musical, so if you haven't seen it, GO WATCH IT! The world can always use more Starkid fanpeoples. You will get a lot more out of this, too. Thanks again for reading and please review!**


	7. The Interrogation

**A.N: Hey everybody! Sorry it's been so long. I fought with myself for a long time over what I was going to say here. You may or may not notice that this scene very much resembles one of J.K. Rowling's actual scenes. I'm sorry if that bothers you, but I figure, it's a fanfiction, and I'm definitely a fan of that scene. So if that sends you into a rage, take it up with me in a PM. Or you could just not read this chapter, but you'd be missing out! Please review!**

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Harry waited outside an empty classroom, waiting for his interrogation, sorry, _interview,_ with Dolores Umbridge,-he shuddered-Minister of Magic. He checked his watch: 11:47. He sighed, imagining the lunch he was missing. Just then, the door opened and a first-year Hufflepuff girl slipped out. She was visibly shaking. Harry tried to smile kindly at her, but she squeaked when she saw him and ran. Harry shook his head ruefully.

_First-years, _he thought. _Always terrified of famous people. _

"Mr. Potter, you may come in now."

Harry slipped through the door and closed it behind him. He made no move to come any closer to his former professor than was absolutely necessary. She was just as she remembered him: curly hair, fake smile, beady eyes, dressed in-of course- florid pink robes. A small pink bow was perched lightly on top of her hair. A familiar lace doily and vase of fake flowers sat on the desk. Apparently just because she no longer taught at Hogwarts was no reason not to bring all the comforts of her office along.

"Please sit down, Mr. Potter," she said sweetly, gesturing to a pink chintz armchair and seating herself in another, larger one behind the desk. She opened a file folder and pulled out a sheet of paper.

"So, Mr. Potter. I have here your grades in all-" she looked up and noticed that Harry had not moved from the doorway. Her smiled suddenly looked a lot more forced. "Mr. Potter, I asked you to take a seat. I know we haven't had the best of relationships in the past, but this is merely a friendly chat. There's no need to be so suspicious. Now," she said as Harry slowly walked towards the chair, "tea? Coffee? Pumpkin juice?"

Harry stared at her suspiciously. He didn't put it past her to put something in his drink-Veritaserum, maybe, or poison? "No, thank you," he said coldly. Incredibly, her smile widened.

"Come, now, Mr. Potter. I insist that you have a drink with me. Choose something."

"Fine," he said at last. "Tea, then."

Umbridge's smile turned positively poisonous. "_Wonderful, _Mr. Potter. That wasn't so hard, now, was it?" She poured tea from a pink tea set that appeared with a wave of her wand. She made a great show of adding milk with her back turned, then handed him a small teacup. "Go on," she added sweetly. "Drink up."

Harry, still suspicious, pressed the cup to his closed lips, but drank nothing.

"Good, good," she murmured, staring at him intently. "Now. I understand that you have started a secret Defense Against the Dark Arts group. Is this true?"

_Veritaserum for sure, then,_ he thought. "Defense Against the Dark Arts group?" he said blankly. "Why would I want to do that? Seems to me, we're learning more than we need this year."

She glared at him. He smiled blandly back, enjoying her frustration.

"Mr. Potter," she said a little more forcefully, "I don't think you understood me. I have heard certain...rumors...that you are the leader of s secret group dedicated to the destruction of the Ministry, and you are training your fellow students to hate all adults in power. _Is this true?"_

Harry almost choked, he was so surprised. Destruction of the Ministry, hmm? He wondered vaguely who on Earth had told her such a thing. "I don't know what you've heard, Professor Umbridge, but I'm just trying to learn. Nothing illegal. I don't hate adults in power." _Not all of them, anyway,_ he thought.

She stared at him for a moment, then said quietly, "Let me see your teacup, Mr. Potter."

Harry flinched. She smiled again, and beckoned with her stubby little fingers. Harry noticed suddenly that she had added several rings since leaving Hogwarts. "Yes, Mr. Potter. Your teacup. Hand it over, now."

Reluctantly, he set the full cup on the desk. She nodded. "Just as I thought. Very well. I don't believe I shall be needing anything more from you today. You may go. Unless there's anything else you wish to tell me?" She smiled sweetly at him.

He blinked at her for a few moments, unable to believe it. She was just letting him go? Just like that? Then her last question registered. He stood up, now several inches taller that her. "Yes, I do have something to tell you. No matter how many people you bribe or sweet-talk, you will never be a good Minister of Magic. You have no right to interfere at Hogwarts, and no one here will ever tell you anything, no matter what."

The smile fell from her face in an instant. She glared back, then nodded decisively. "Very well, Mr. Potter. As to my success as Minister, I respect that you have a right to air your opinion, just as I have every right to ensure that England's youth are being well-educated and properly brought up. And you would be surprised what people will say with a little.._persuasion_. Now leave." She flicked her wand, and Harry felt as if a giant hand was pushing him towards the door. He contented with slamming it behind him as he left.

_Persuasion?_ he thought._ That sounds more than a little ominous to me. I'd better tell the rest of the D.A, and soon. We have not seen that last of Dolores Umbridge._

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**Ominous ending, no? I'm really looking forward to write some more. If anyone has any brilliant ideas, let me know and I will be _delighted_ to use them (maybe). Thanks again, and, again, please review!**


	8. The Aftermath

**A.N: Wow, was this a long chapter! But did I ever have a blast writing it. Sorry it's been so long, but school's almost over, so finals and yeah. But here you go. I hope you appreciate all my hard work. Comment with your favorite line or something, so I know what my readers are enjoying. Much love to you faithful people!**

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The next morning, Harry woke up to find Ron's bed empty. He dressed quickly and hurried down to the common room, wondering why his friend had gone so completely out of character and gotten up early. When he reached the common room, he found Ron pacing the floor in front of the stairway to the girl's dorms. Feeling that this could mean nothing good, he was about to step out and call attention to himself when, sure enough, Hermione came down the staircase, carrying a large bookbag. At last, he understood. Hermione was a well-known early riser. He stepped back in the shadow of the stairs and watched.

Ron looked up and saw Hermione at the exact moment she saw him. Both stopped in their tracks.

"Good morning, Hermione," said Ron cautiously. Hermione watched him for a moment, then continued on down the stairs. She dropped her bag on a table and pulled out a large Ancient Runes book, which she promptly buried her nose in. Ron faltered, then took a seat across from her. Without acknowledging his presence, she swiveled on her seat to put as much of her back to him as possible without falling off her chair.

Ron sighed, then said, "Look, Hermione. I know you can hear me, and I just want you to know that I'm sorry for whatever you think I did."

Harry winced. This was going to go badly.

"I know that I'm supposed to let you do whatever you want because I'm your boyfriend...or at least I hope I am," he added quietly, "but I just don't think you should be defending that idiot Malfoy. I'm jealous, ok? I know he likes you, and I don't want him to steal you away. Because you belong to me, you know. Not him. If I have anything to say about it, _never _him."

Hermione slammed her book down on the table. "I _belong_ to you, Ron Weasley? I _belong _to you? For your information, I am a person who can think for herself. I can make decisions for myself, _especially _about who my friends are. And lately I've been wondering about some of my friends. I accept that you're sorry for making me angry with you," she said coldly, "but until you can treat me like a person and be nice to Malfoy, you can consider us through." With that, she stood up and headed for the door.

Ron stood up too, and grabbed her arm. "Hermione, wait. Please!" She shook him off angrily. "Hermione. Just listen to me! I messed up, ok? But maybe some people aren't meant to be friends. Malfoy's been a jerk from the first day we met, remember? And I know what you want matters, but what I want matters, too, you know!"

She whirled around and yelled, "Ron, you're supposed to be a good person! You're a Gryffindor, he's a Slytherin! But what you did was cruel, Ron, and mean. Nobody deserves that kind of treatment, not even him. All he wants is to be your friend, but no! You have to duel with him, and make him look like a fool in front of the entire school." She jabbed a finger in his chest. "You were the jerk this time, not him! He doesn't deserve this! So leave him alone, alright? And leave me alone, too!"

The two stood face to face, glaring at each other. Hermione's face was turning white, Ron's ears were glowing red. After several minutes, Ron threw up his hands and turned away.

"Fine," he said, his back to Hermione. "Fine. I can't make you change your mind, just like you can't make me change my mind about Malfoy. So I guess, this is it. I won't bother you anymore," he said quietly. "You can go do whatever you want, with whoever you want. Just..." Apparently unable to find words, Ron simply walked out of the common room. Hermione watching him go, seemed to deflate. She reached out a hand and, for a moment, Harry thought she was going to call him back, but her hand dropped limply to her side. A single tear trickled down her cheek.

Harry stepped out of the stairway. "Hermione...?" he said quietly. She turned and flung herself on his neck, sobbing in earnest now. He patted her on the back and made soothing noises as she cried herself out. Finally, he said, "Look, Hermione. I don't mean to be insensitive, but people are going to be coming down here any minute. So why don't you go back upstairs and get cleaned up, and I'll meet you at breakfast. Ok?"

Hermione nodded and mutely walked back up to her dormitory. Harry sighed as he watched her go, knowing he had a long day ahead of him.

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Hermione never came down to breakfast. Ron sat at the end of the Gryffindor table nearest to the door, glowering at his eggs. Harry had filled Ginny in on what he had seen, and both were very carefully avoiding mentioning Hermione's name at all. Harry was about to suggest that they all go up and get their books when Amycus swept over to their table and clapped Ron on the back.

"Mr. Weasley!" he exclaimed. "Excellent job yesterday. Just a bit more focus and you'd have had him. Keep up the good work."

Ron smiled feebly up at him. Amycus patted him once more on the shoulder, then walked up towards the staff table. Ron sank even lower on the bench. Harry and Ginny exchanged looks. Ron was clearly feeling very guilty about the events of the past day, but both knew that his pride would not allow him to say anything. They knew they would have to tread carefully, or they would push the two further apart.

Harry opened his mouth to say something consoling, but Ron cut him off. "Listen, Harry. I know. I know you heard everything, and you can't possibly kick me any harder than I'm kicking myself, alright? Please just let me deal with this. I'll fix it." With that, he abandoned his breakfast and hurried towards the door.

Hermione came through the door just as he reached it, her eyes red from crying. Harry started to get up, ready to interfere, but Ron merely stepped aside and let her pass, giving her plenty of space. She walked past with her head down. Both avoided the other's eyes. Hermione came and sat down by Harry and Ginny.

"Good morning, everyone," she said, falsely cheerful. "How is your morning going?" Harry looked at her sharply. Ginny went over and put an arm around her shoulders. "Is everything alright, Hermione?" she asked quietly. Hermione smiled brightly at her, but both Ginny and Harry could tell that it was forced. "Fine?" she said, almost hysterically. "Why wouldn't I be fine? I just broke up with my boyfriend and we can't even look at each other any more. Oh yes, everything's wonderful!" Her voice had gotten progressively higher and louder, ending in almost a shriek.

"Hermione?" came a voice from behind them. Hermione turned around quickly. Draco Malfoy stood quietly near the door. Hermione blushed beet red. Harry knew she was wondering how long he had been standing there. "May I have a word?"

Hermione looked back at her friends pleadingly, as if begging for a way out, but they could only shrug and watch helplessly as Draco took her arm and gently but firmly towed her out of the Great Hall. Harry and Ginny waited a few moments, then followed as quietly as they could.

Draco and Hermione turned into an unused classroom and shut the door. Ginny grinned and pulled out two of Fred and George's Extendable Ears. Harry kissed her quickly on the cheek, then they both inserted one end of the long, flesh-colored strings into their ears. The other ends wriggled their way under the door and they could suddenly hear all that was said.

"...heard about your recent...disagreement...with Weasley," Malfoy was saying. When Hermione responded her voice was bitter. "I imagine most everyone did." They could almost hear the smile in Malfoy's voice as he said, "Perhaps. But I just wanted to say that I'm deeply sorry about it and I really regret any role I might have had. I wouldn't want to do anything that would make you unhappy, believe me."

There was a pause, then Hermione said quietly, "This is really the last thing I need right now, but thank you for the apology. It's really not your fault, though. You didn't make Ron act like a total idiot. You were just his tool."

Malfoy's voice was suddenly hard. "You are exactly right, Hermione. I was just a tool, and I am never going to let it happen again. Especially not with him."

Hermione sighed. "Why can't the two of you just get along? What is it that makes you be so mean to each other? You're both purebloods, you're the same age, we've done so much together-"

"We both have feelings for you," said Malfoy softly. Silence. At last Hermione, crying, said, "I can't. Not yet. Maybe not ever, but please...it's all just happened so fast, and I hardly know what to do anymore." A note of pleading entered into her voice as she added, "Please, Draco. Try to understand. I just need some time. That's all."

Malfoy took a deep breath. "Whatever you need, Hermione. Just ask." Harry and Ginny heard footsteps and sprang away from the door just in time. Malfoy opened the door and walked down the hall towards the dungeons, where the Slytherin common room was located. They waited a few moments, then slowly peered around the edge of the doorframe. Hermione sat on the floor in the middle of the room, looking utterly lost. Tears were running slowly down her cheeks. Harry took Ginny's hand and they left Hermione to her sadness.

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**Feels alert! I hope so, anyway. Let me know what you think, please and thank you!**


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